Life got crazy, hectic and I took the week off from the blog. Funny how you start out thinking nothing will keep you from accomplishing what you set out to do and then life can suck it right away from you. That's pretty much how it went. I started last week with an amazing step of faith. Thanks to those who held me in prayer. I stepped out in faith with $1,500. I paid to have my book advertised in a national publication, Home Life magazine. It will advertise sometime in the spring of 2012 with a circulation of 500,000. Now I realize that I could never get that kind of exposure for $1,500 anywhere else, but still it was a major release of funds for me. I wanted so much to have all the assurance that it would pay off and that I would reap a harvest from it. Funny how God just loves for it to not be that way!
A faith journey for me always seems to have those times. Maybe it's true for you too. It can be frustrating, to say the least but it also becomes the exhilarating part of the journey. It's as though God leads us to the very edge of all we can accomplish on our own. You know, it's that faith journey where we operated with little of Him and more of us. You don't mean for it to look that way but you're just more comfortable with a faith in which you have a lot of control.
Then in the course of walking with God you realize that you and He are standing on the ledge of an amazing expanse. At that point He just becomes silent. He's watching you, perceiving your thoughts. He knows that you desire to walk with Him and experience an amazing faith journey. You've even expressed that to Him. Perhaps you, like me have sought to believe He can accomplish great things with you. Now He's led you to a place where He wants to see if you are serious about what you claim. He sees that you know what He wants you to do. Like me, you may pretend you aren't sure but You know He's asking you to trust Him and step off that ledge of your security, the last part of what you can do on your own.
Don't worry, he sees all your emotions that are going off like firecrackers one after another. Honestly, sometimes I think this is His favorite part of the journey of faith. I think this because I seem to be here a lot so He musts enjoy it. He knows you want to trust, you want to take that step. I think he just smiles and waits to see if you will. He knows He's led you to get to this place and He's given you all the knowledge you need about Him in order for you to make the choice to believe and trust. He watches as you rationalize, evaluate and scrutinize the possiblities. And then He sees you finally abandon all that reasoning and lean forward into a step of faith. God's silence seems to break when you take that first step because in taking that step, you have finally thrown yourself upon His goodness, His power and His purposes.
I still don't know what the outcome of that $1,500 investment will be but I know that He has always shown me that when I trust, He will be faithful. He always is and always will be. I want to be faithful to Him in that same way. I'm learning that it's not about the amount we release but instead the attitude of ownership. If I am His then all I am and all I have is His. Are you standing on a ledge or have you abandoned your security to give it all up and let Him show you the expanse of His greatness? There's no in between. We're either on the ledge holding on to our security or in sweet abandonment, we've given all we have to Him.
Watch that first step - It's a big one!
Pat
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